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poop

Stuff that comes out of your ass. Usually brownish. Sometimes red and yellow. Comes in many types: The Poop Poop: [Brown]. Slithers out of your ass. Not very satisfactory, and not particularly painful. Causes moderate amount of crap left in your ass for you to wipe. The Quickie [Dirty] Poop: This poop bolts out of your ass like a rocket. It doesn't hurt. However, you have lots to wipe, as the inside of your ass will look like a rusty factory if you were to look inside. The Quickie Happy Poop: Bolts out of your ass. Clean. Painless. A welcome from the annoying "Winnie The Poop" Winnie the Poop: Moves a bit. Once your hopes get up, it gets stuck and refuses to move an inch. You will have to push like hell until Pooh comes out. Usually a sort of constipation. The Alamo Poop: You push and push. Similar to Winnie the Poop. Once this poop comes out, you see a small pebble. Thats when a stream of red hot [diarrhea] comes flaring out. Usually means you are beginning to get [diarrhea]. The [Russian] Poop: (AKA [Diarrhea]) You crap, and crap, and crap some more. It will not [stop] coming. The best idea is to keep pushing, and flush every five minutes. It will end eventually. This poop is really painful, and your ass will ache for a couple days because of all the wiping. The Peek-A-Boo Poop: You will crap. This poop will land in the [water], and would appear to go down the hole. It will then constantly return to the surface to annoy you. Flush quickly when its at the [top], or the poop will just slip back once you flush. The Ghost Poop: You will feel the crap crawling out, but you see nothing in the [toilet]. Sometimes a varient of the Peek-A-Boo poop. The Gassy Max: You will think its just a fart, but suddenly, a [wet], smelly poop will appear. Generally comes a bit before [Diarrhea]. The Professianal Poop (AKA the American Poop) The moment your ass hits the toilet seat, this poop will flare out of ass. It is painful. It is not [Diarrhea]. It simply hurts, and not much comes out. Brace until its gone. The Friendly poop: Comes out of your ass easily. Feels good, and is [pretty] clean. This is the dream poop. The [Titanic] poop: A massive poop. Sometimes called a Lincoln Log. Push it out and gasp at its size. The Giant poop: A huge poop. Bigger then life. Hope for the best. If you are unlucky, this will rupture your bowels and kill you. If you are lucky, this will create a huge poop. Don't flush, bring all of your buddies over to gape and gasp at its size. Take pictures. You might have made a world record.

"I just took a poop today" "Poop is [brown], [mushy], and sometimes looks like a [banana]."

This definition is too long for this mug.

poop

Well all these here definitions are pretty accurate but there's one other that I hadn't seen on here. CLIFF BAR poop: This rather unpleasant form of poop occurs only when you eat a whole chunky peanut butter cliff bar without washing it down with any water. First it will sit in your stomach like a brick for several days, until finally, you stomach's hydrochloric acids have corroded it enough to where it can painfully squeeze through your intestines. After it has spent several more days stuck in your large intestine, fermenting, and causing blockage, it will finally have to be expelled. The crap itself has undigested peanut lumps, and partially corroded peanut butter, whose sharp, rough edges eat away at the soft tissue that is your butthole. After the bar is fully pushed away, the crap that has been blocked for days (which has also fermented) all spills out like minestrone soup. The overall odor is so intoxicating that it often corrodes nasal passages, fogs up the house, and causes the wallpaper in the bathroom to begin peeling off. You will need heavy air freshener and disinfectants to cure the smell. So drink water if you eat a Cliff Bar.

I cant put an example for this poop, you have to experience it to comprehend it.

By Tard happy

Poop

A blob in various shapes and sizes which exits you anus at various speeds. There are more than one type of poop: The Classic: The poop that warns you and says "Hey you have to poop" then you go, it slips out easily , and you only have to wipe once. AKA: The dream poop. The Shotgun: This poop is rather unpleasant. There is no warning and the poop says "YOU HAVE TO POOP NOW! QUICK OR ELSE YOU WONT MAKE IT!" so you sprint to the bathroom and start pooping before you even hit the seat. You are finished pooping within a matter of seconds but the wiping takes about 24.34 minutes. The Ice Cream Machine: This type of poop lives up to it's name well. It gives little warning but at least enough to put toilet paper on the seat if you're in a public restroom. It comes out as either a viscous liquid or a very chunky soup. This one is by far the longest one to wipe. The Houdini: This poop is a trickster. You know it came out but you never heard it hit the water. So you peek around to check the toilet...and it's gone! The Tsunami: This is usually a very hard and large poop, but it can also be a shotgun poop. You are sitting and pushing away and it comes out. You are about to sigh in relief when a very cold splash of water laps your butt. Not a good time. The False Alarm: You are alerted that a poop is nearing your anus so you run into the bathroom and sit down. Unfortunately that poop turned out to be a very loud series of farts. The Liar: You have noticed your sphincter is getting a little antsy, so you head for the bathroom. You sit down and start pushing away but nothing comes out. But here it comes, you can feel it. You start pushing, it is a battle between the poop and human race. So eventually you win and you look in the toilet to see your accomplishment and to your surprise there is a M&M sized poop staring right back, mocking you. Jack the Ripper: This poop is too big. Plain and simple. A quarter sized hole can't plop out a half-dollar piece! WHAT WAS MY LOWER INTESTINE THINKING?! Last but not least... The Army: This poop is the most unpleasant of all. you got done pooping a pure liquid concoction and you wipe till your hole is sore. So you get up and your butt says "Oh no!You're not done! Sit back down there!" so after another barrage or poop soup you wipe that painful hole again and stand up. and once again your butt disagrees with you. So you end up sitting on the toilet with your head in you hands asking yourself "WHEN IS IT GOING TO END!?"

Man, last night i had a Houdini poop, it was weird...

By P00pmaster

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