Cud-hat
noun 1. Refers to a straw or palm-leaf cowboy hat that has been purposely stained and crumpled at the factory for a 'distressed' look. Often, the over-exaggerated 'worn' style is achieved through the use of materials that are totally inferior to those used in real straw or palm-leaf hats. Because of this, real cowboys or cowgirls often comment that such hats appear to have been woven from regurgitated rhino cud, hence the name. A cud-hat usually features a tattered crown and curled brim that looks like it has been through a garbage masher. Despite the wearer's claims to the contrary, a cud-hat is neither functional nor stylish; its sad excuse for a brim fails to protect the wearer from the sun's rays, it falls apart if exposed to rain, and its mere presence assures all who see it that the wearer is a vain country/cowboy poser. Most wearers of cud-hats have never even ridden a horse, despite the fact that their cud-hat comically features a stampede string (an adjustable string or strap running under the wearer's chin to keep the hat in place). Cud-hats are most often worn by young female urbanites who wish to project the illusion that they embrace the country lifestyle when in certain situations, such as rodeos or county fairs. Men have also been known to embrace the cud-hat look, thanks to its promotion by neo-country music artists such as Kenny Chesney, Toby Keith and Jason Aldean.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
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War. War Never Changes. War, war never changes. In the year 1945, my great-great grandfather, serving in the army, wondered when he get to go home to his wife and the son he never see. He got his wish, when the U.S. ended WWII by dropping an atomic cloud on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The world awaited Armageddon, instead, something miraculous happened. We began to use atomic energy as a nearly limitless source of power. People enjoyed luxury once thought in the realm of science fiction. Domestic robots, fusion powered cars, portable computers. Then, in the 21st century, people awoke from the American dream. Years of consumption led to the shortages of every major resource. The entire world unraveled. Peace became a distant memory. It is now the year 2077, and we stand on the brink of total war, and I am afraid, for myself, for my wife, for my infant son, because if my time in the army taught me one thing; is that war, war never changes.
Excellent satire - didn't see comments to that end, so find it hard to fathom if most readers, in turn, didn't laugh out loud, and say so. But apparently not.
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