Couldn't train a choko vine to grow up a dunny wall
Australian descriptive metaphor. The person in question is of such incompetence or stupidity they indeed couldn't train a choko vine to grow up a dunny wall. Commonly used to refer to a dim workmate or acquaintance. The choko (also known as a cheyote or chouchou, among others) being an extremely hardy vine fruit that, left to its own devices, will grow up virtually any surface.
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