Conservative

1. One who believes in "traditional values" but rejects any debate challenging the conservative definition of what said values are. Conservatives claim to value limited government, but are willing to expand government without limit in order to impose their personal morality on all others. 2. A liberal when it comes to the economy. Though individuals are barred from making various personal choices, businesses may do whatever they want with no repercussions. 3. One who is quite familiar with the concept of "Majority Rules" but is unable to understand the concept of "Minority Rights" (the premise that bars the majority from voting to restrict the rights of the minority). 4. An individual who claims to value the constitution above all else, but in reality is willing to suspend all amendments for any reason related to national security (except for the 2nd). 5. A black-and-white thinker. Conservatives think largely in absolutes, ignoring the various social, cultural, and economic nuances that define an issue.