conservatard

A person who is politically conservative to an extreme degree, often with no sound intellectual basis for his or her beliefs. Conservatards believe that loud volume, beligerence, and personal attacks trump logic and reasoning in any argument. In a conservatard's eyes, logic and reasoning are used by communists and hippies to warp the minds of the innocent young, and therefore must be avoided at all costs. When engaged in political discourse, conservatards change subjects often; preferring to point out unrelated (or even fabricated) examples of liberal folly rather than directly addressing the topic at hand. Some conservatards like to use large words like "misunderestimate" and "nukular" to impress others with their advanced grasp of English vocabulary, and by extension, their intelligence. Conservatards generally have no concept of history, and in fact, may not even be able to read above a third grade level. Most of their belief structure is dictated to them by a television.