condom

A latex, polyurethane, or natural sheepskin oblong barrier placed over the penis for eliminating most chance of pregnancy for human males who can: 1. Actually fit into the damned things without losing all bloodflow and causing permanent damage. 2. Do not experience an extremely vast, sexually debilitating loss of sensitivity due to the thickness of the material and the lack of circulation. Condoms, among those with penises longer than 190mm or wider than 52mm, are sometimes likened to wrapping a standard rubber band around one's wrist sixteen times and then trying to play a musical instrument, such as a piano or guitar, using that hand, for an hour. Generally, in such a scenario, one's hand will experience first pressure, followed by throbbing pain, succeeded by a piercing pain, ending finally in numb limpness and likely permanent or long-lasting damage to nerve endings or blood vessels. Such individuals generally protest that while condoms are a brilliant invention, they need to be made to accomodate more human proportions, as they are available in two basic sizes: short and fat, or long and narrow. In all latex or polyurethane cases, the elastic band at the base of the condom is always 2" (0.06mm), which is the root of the problem yet does not vary with the width of the shaft and head areas of the condom sizes. The only reasonably sized condoms in these cases are the natural condoms, which are unfortunately made of sheep intestine, and smell like it. Yet this type proves an option preferrable over the absurd designs of the vast repertoire of other condom types.