Chippenham

The high street is the most popular area and you'll find many specimens here! You want morbid childhood obesity? No problem! Looking for a mum of 5 in her mid 30s whose only form of discipline is a backhand? We've got you sorted! It used to be somewhat respectable, but has declined after woolworths closed in 2009. Since then its become the most degenerate area in England, with every kind of sin and/or debauchery just a few steps away! Nearby Monkton Park holds the record for the most stabbings anywhere on earth and that new car park nobody asked for is a better crack house than actual car park. The secondary schools are the next most notorious areas! If you're looking at the prison that is Abbeyfield or the loosely respectable Hardenhuish/Sheldon Freaky Friday situation, you're sure to see something obscene or horrifying! Pretty much everything outside the town centre and industrial estates are houses, but there is a definite divide. If you want to live long enough to leave Chippenham, its best you avoid places like sheldon road and redlands, and by absolutely no means should you visit hill rise after dark! Who knows where your body will be found! In short, come armed and if you're considering visiting, just remember the most exciting place in town is the big b&m