China Syndrome (Gan Mao Zedong)

Normally the preserve of foreign visitors (normally Westerners) to China. Has been known to affect people immediately after arrival. Can involve the following symptoms. The shits, runny shits, pink eye, very runny shits, explosive shits, firecracker shits (or ring of fire), vomiting, bile burps, hallucinations, bloating, sponsorship from toilet roll and plunger companies, amoebic dysentery, watery shits, shitty shits etc, wishing for death, will writing, itchiness in the upper colon, last rites, dramatic weight loss, a general feeling of discontent. Constipation is not a symptom.