Chav Mug

Cardiff Chavs. Also known by the names, cheifos, waynes, kevs, darrens, bras, bros, bres, spas, spafes, safes, scummaz, twat rats, dole moles, filthy fuck faced fuckers, beppos, council estate stem cells and Olympians, *this last name is derived from observing their behaviour of almost constantly appearing dressed in sports attire. Note> This is not true on days of which they are required to attend County Court or go for an interview for Londis where they will revert to wearing ben sherman shirt, top shop jeans and black Lacoste Wainers, ie> Trainers. Cardiff puke differ from other UK filth monkeys in two key areas. Firstly, Dey talks in sum fuckins kind of like fuckins welsh fuckins gangsta fings and pluralises almost every words so theys ends ups sayings stuffs thats constantly fluctuating between collective tense, mispronounced verbs and nonsenses. This has led to the belief that bin eaters have knowledge of the future and are bred for thier skills in palms readings and the art of tarot. This was given creadence by the recent discovery by anthropologists that "izzit?" and "innit" were ancient druidic for "magic" and "wizard power" The second major difference is their level of hostility. Where as a pack of Happy Shopper Hyenas will usually only attack if their number is greater by at least 5 times than that of their prey, ie> Old ladies, disabled people, cats, a 14 year old Diffchav was observed throwing random punches at passers by while walking solo down City Rd and listening to Fiddy on his stolen phone. Some people say it is the water that breeds such outright Kevism whilst others have maintained it is because they only ever eat chips and smoke Hydro Skunk. Cardiff shit tend to reside on the outer areas of the city. They were relocated in the 90s because the constant sound of happy hardcore house and Blade movies had begun to upset humans. Relocation into their natural habitat, ie> places with graffiti, a kwik save and burned out cars has only been a partial success as there is currently no law stopping Pogs from leaving their council houses that are covered in tupac posters and crisp packets and venturing into the city centre. To summarise, maybe you should all thank your God, stars, luck or even your own local Spar Patrol that you were fortunate enough not to be born in the Hellmouth of bubonic puke faced chavs that is the Diff.