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Charles Clarke

Charles Clarke was formerly the Home Secretary in Tony Blair's fascist New Labour Government. His physical appearance was that of a beetroot-faced commandant, while his policies explicitly stated that for reasons of national security, every person living in Britain needed to be fingerprinted,, investigated, and issued with an ID card which was to be carried at all times under threat of arrest and torture. Under the excuse of a nationwide epidemic, the terrifyingly named Avian Flu (which had already killed 23 people throughout Asia and Europe) he planned to instigate a curfew and using the pretext of "inoculation" to insert into every British person a microchip similar to the ones used on domestic pets. His department was also in charge of the criminal records unit which provided employers with details of the criminal records of the public. Sadly such was the ruthless inefficiency of this department that 3000 people ended up wrongly portrayed as criminals when they were in fact innocent. He was also in charge of the department which released thousands of foreign murderers, rapists and thugs onto the streets when they should actually have been deported. Clarke was a monstrous, deluded and incompetent man who loved to portray the British public as rampant, dangerous criminals, preaching that to preserve our freedom we had to surrender it. He delighted in proposing draconian laws to protect us from "terrorists" when in fact if such people actually existed, his demonstrable incompetence would ensure that they would succeed. Luckily for the British people, the "terrorists" were largely the invention of Tony Blair and MI5. If anybody wanted to blow things up, with Clarke in charge they would almost certainly succeed. Perhaps his most hateful attribute was his personal manner; he liked to cultivate the air of a magisterial headmaster, sternly doling out justice from on high. During a particularly bad televised savaging, he was seen to be taking notes - although personally I suspected he was writing a letter along the lines of "Dear Auntie Maggie, I am on some godawful pleb television show where members of the public are openly encouraged to question my competence. When will they realise I am not here to answer their questions, I am here to punish them for living in this country.. they'll be sorry when they're sent to the new subversive internment camps I've got planned..." Clarke was finally booted out after public outcry grew so strident that even Prime Minister Tony Blair, He Who Will Not Listen, was forced to sack him.

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

Ceramic mug (11 oz)
Printed on-demand just for you
Dishwasher safe
Microwave safe
Word on front, definition on back
Comfortable handle
Every order personally reviewed
636
62
10
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15

Great ordering experience..good quality

Sherry P. Mar 28
✓ Verified Purchase

8.3 cm diameter? I hardly know her

Oen G. Mar 27

The day this mug entered my life, my depression was cured, I won the lottery, my dad came back from the dead, and my mum started loving me, motto beg but if you rub the mug 3 times a genie WIll grant you 69 wishes (I wished for more mugs 69 times)

Your n. Mar 26

Gift for my niece. She loves it.

Sandra W. Mar 26
✓ Verified Purchase

I don’t really want to by it but I do like that you can customize it Also I do find find funny nearly all the one star reviews are people say “I want the mug for free”

Ayden N. Mar 25

i tried to break this shit mug but died got reincarnated came back to life and this shitty mug was still there

Gabe U. Mar 25

How many ounces does it hold? I don’t know ask him. HIM!HIM! Fuck him! It’s catchy

Jack K. Mar 25

Great experience with the Urban Dictionary and ordering my mug. Any concerns that were related to them were received promptly. Overall, it was a great experience

Stephen N. Mar 25
✓ Verified Purchase

i love this mug its not a mistake ITS A MASTERPIECE

E E. Mar 24

Describes my classmate in school, perfect

Person :. Mar 24

I love the cup and I’m certain I’ll be checking with you guys in the future..

Michael K. Mar 23
✓ Verified Purchase

*To those looking to purchase, others may criticize your sense of humor.* I love the thug shaker mug! It stands out as a quality desk ornament that all of my co workers are envious of. However, the other world leaders seem to find the thug shaker unfunny and immature for the work place. My wife says she will leave me if she sees it out one more time. I think I may have to give up the thug shaker persona once and for all. Stay strong thugs.

Joseph R B. Mar 23

fuck you and your mugs give me a shirt or ill shit on you

Shaina D. Mar 22

Love love love it! Customer service gave me a coupon, let me know that I had to revise the definition when too long, and overall super helpful.

Arielle C. Mar 22
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Review by Mark B.

Nice Mug my second Mug. A little staining or photo graphic stain on the side of the cup and shown in the picture. As a result I cannot give a 5 Star Review.

Mark B. Mar 20
✓ Verified Purchase

The snarky message on the mug always gets big laughs from guests so I'm now using it as my go-to bourbon glass

Sam K. Mar 19
✓ Verified Purchase

Love the coffee mug. Would have been nice to see who had the word accepted into Urban Dictionary printed on the bottom of the mug. As I was the one. "Dusty Dawg" Other than that I love.

Douglas L. Mar 19
✓ Verified Purchase

fuck ur mugs i want one for free

daniel l. Mar 18

This mug, much like a cursed relic unearthed from the depths of despair, embodies a cacophony of design flaws and manufacturing mishaps that make one wonder if it was birthed from the darkest corners of incompetence itself. From its deceptively promising exterior, which boasts a color scheme akin to a bruised banana left out in the sun for too long, to its handle that feels more like a medieval torture device designed to punish the unsuspecting hand that dares to grasp it, every aspect of this mug screams "regret." Its material, a sinister amalgamation of recycled nightmares and shattered dreams, leeches a flavor reminiscent of stale coffee mixed with the tears of disappointed souls into whatever liquid unfortunate enough to be poured within its cursed confines. The rim, jagged and uneven like the edge of a poorly forged blade, guarantees that each sip is a perilous journey fraught with the risk of lip lacerations and existential dread. And let us not forget the bottom of this vessel, where the manufacturer's logo is stamped with all the subtlety of a scarlet letter, branding the user as a victim of their own poor purchasing decisions for all eternity. Indeed, this mug serves as a stark reminder that sometimes, in the vast expanse of consumer goods, there exists a dark abyss where quality and utility fear to tread, leaving only disappointment and regret in their wake.

ugly b. Mar 18
Review by Jonathan H.

I think it’s funny and the quality is really good. Shipping was pretty fast too.

Jonathan H. Mar 17
✓ Verified Purchase

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