Charles Clarke
Charles Clarke was formerly the Home Secretary in Tony Blair's fascist New Labour Government. His physical appearance was that of a beetroot-faced commandant, while his policies explicitly stated that for reasons of national security, every person living in Britain needed to be fingerprinted,, investigated, and issued with an ID card which was to be carried at all times under threat of arrest and torture. Under the excuse of a nationwide epidemic, the terrifyingly named Avian Flu (which had already killed 23 people throughout Asia and Europe) he planned to instigate a curfew and using the pretext of "inoculation" to insert into every British person a microchip similar to the ones used on domestic pets. His department was also in charge of the criminal records unit which provided employers with details of the criminal records of the public. Sadly such was the ruthless inefficiency of this department that 3000 people ended up wrongly portrayed as criminals when they were in fact innocent. He was also in charge of the department which released thousands of foreign murderers, rapists and thugs onto the streets when they should actually have been deported. Clarke was a monstrous, deluded and incompetent man who loved to portray the British public as rampant, dangerous criminals, preaching that to preserve our freedom we had to surrender it. He delighted in proposing draconian laws to protect us from "terrorists" when in fact if such people actually existed, his demonstrable incompetence would ensure that they would succeed. Luckily for the British people, the "terrorists" were largely the invention of Tony Blair and MI5. If anybody wanted to blow things up, with Clarke in charge they would almost certainly succeed. Perhaps his most hateful attribute was his personal manner; he liked to cultivate the air of a magisterial headmaster, sternly doling out justice from on high. During a particularly bad televised savaging, he was seen to be taking notes - although personally I suspected he was writing a letter along the lines of "Dear Auntie Maggie, I am on some godawful pleb television show where members of the public are openly encouraged to question my competence. When will they realise I am not here to answer their questions, I am here to punish them for living in this country.. they'll be sorry when they're sent to the new subversive internment camps I've got planned..." Clarke was finally booted out after public outcry grew so strident that even Prime Minister Tony Blair, He Who Will Not Listen, was forced to sack him.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
Loved it, my co-workers liked the mug.
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This mug saved my life from spiraling down a deep dark path.
Great present for my wife, she uses it all the time, and it's her to a T.
I love it. High quality. Just as I had hoped.
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I have a crippling addiction to these mugs, i have 459
This mug is wonderful it’s so funny and I gave it to the kid that made the Definition and he started dying laughing
War. War Never Changes. War, war never changes. In the year 1945, my great-great grandfather, serving in the army, wondered when he get to go home to his wife and the son he never see. He got his wish, when the U.S. ended WWII by dropping an atomic cloud on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The world awaited Armageddon, instead, something miraculous happened. We began to use atomic energy as a nearly limitless source of power. People enjoyed luxury once thought in the realm of science fiction. Domestic robots, fusion powered cars, portable computers. Then, in the 21st century, people awoke from the American dream. Years of consumption led to the shortages of every major resource. The entire world unraveled. Peace became a distant memory. It is now the year 2077, and we stand on the brink of total war, and I am afraid, for myself, for my wife, for my infant son, because if my time in the army taught me one thing; is that war, war never changes.
Excellent satire - didn't see comments to that end, so find it hard to fathom if most readers, in turn, didn't laugh out loud, and say so. But apparently not.
I am gonna buy it and give it to my nine year old brother
Super Funny Mug 😂
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This mug made me to from a Level 1 Crook to Level 100 Mafia Boss instantly. I ascended to the heavens above when it came to the door and God himself told me "your a boss now cuh" and i descended feeling very powerful. Next thing I knew everyone loved me. However 4/5 stars because now I have too many fans and one is holding me hostage.... help
The mug is awesome, the yellow color is great but green is also good, the scream mug is the best mug in my entyre live!!! I can't imagine my life without this mug, i cant stop buing it.... I have like 30 mugs every color in this site and also i'm ordered a new one, please help me.
It is amazing I was having a bad day and I read this. My name is Evan and this made me happy
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