Camper

a term given to an annoying one night stand who will not leave your place the next morning. Instead, they camp in your bedroom or home and treat it as if it were theirs. Even if you give the signal that it is time for them to go, they will not leave – even after several hours. There are several stages to be aware of: Stage 1 Camper: (Still there 30 min after you are awake) You realize she/he is awake so you pretend you are asleep. If she stays awake and waits for you to wake up, you have a stage 1 camper. Not bad because she/he may just be waiting for you to wake to say bye. If not, she is preparing her camping gear. Stage 2 Camper: (1 hour after being awake) Pretending you are asleep failed and now you both are "awake". She/he begins a lengthy conversation about random crap that has nothing to do with the night before. If they keep talking that means they are unpacking their gear and setting up their tent. Stage 3 Camper: (1-2 hours) The chit chat extends for more than an hour or so and she/he turns on the TV. Now their tent is up and they are planning on staying. Stage 4 Camper: (2-3 hours) She/He begins to talk about breakfast and asks what you have. Oh boy, their tent is fully furnished at this point. Firewood gathering is next. Stage 5 Camper: (3+ hours) You have had breakfast and if she doesn't leave within 20-30 minutes afterwards, you have a severe situation on your hands. The camp has been completely set up and the firewood is burning.