Calgary

A city in Alberta, Canada, it is either loved or hated. Contrary to popular belief, it is not populated by hard working blue collar cowboys, but by an astounding number of metrosexuals and Asians. It is extremely rare to meet someone in Calgary who was actually born there, as the majority of its inhabitants simply migrated there to earn lots of easy money. Because of this, Calgary is extremely diverse. Calgary is notorious for its awful traffic, as the city was never designed for the massive amounts of foreign females that currently terrorize the streets. Road construction is a year round occurrence. Calgary is also notorious for its lively nightlife, with a hodgepodge of nightclubs strewn throughout the various industrial parks. Because of the utter disgrace of a transit system, drunk driving is the preferred and safest method of transport. Calgarian women are known as some of the most beautiful in the world, due to additives in the water treatment system. However, they are also some of the most demanding, with the vast majority not attracted to good looks or personality, but rather the fat wads of wonderful money that a man may possess. Women who are not absolutely perfect quickly become vapid sluts that can be had for the price of one or two drinks. Besides alcohol abuse, there is extremely little to actually do in the city. A once a year festival know as the Calgary Stampede was implemented to introduce this extreme state of constant intoxication and public drunkenness to the rest of the world. Despite several shortcomings, Calgary is still know the best city in Canada, and is accepted throughout the scientific world as being the true center of the universe.