breaching turtle
noun; Known regionally as "mustachious dollarous amphibious," the breaching turtle is a somewhat timid creature that can be commonly found relaxing stage-side at area strip clubs. It is not uncommon to see anywhere between 2-5 breaching turtles occupying the same dimly lit corner. The breaching turtle spends most of its time with its head safely concealed within its t-shirt-like shell (*note: breaching turtles have the ability to remain submerged for up to as many as 3 Def Leppard songs). A breaching turtle will remain concealed until its insatiable appetite for titty resin causes it to burst forth, craning its long neck in the direction of its prey. The breaching turtle utilizes a dollar bill held firmly between its nose and mouth to lure in the stripper it desires. Upon having titties rub in its face, the breaching turtle may linger for several more sets of titties before quietly retreating back into its shell. On rare occasion, breaching turtles may emerge to particularly large, old, or ugly strippers upon which the breaching turtle will hastily recede back into the safety of its 100% cotton shell (see "frightened turtle")
The Urban Dictionary Mug
Cole M. got this for me. best sex of my life.
Got it for Cole M. girlfriend. Slowest sex of my life.
Fucking awesome. Bought this while drunk and don't regret it.
Cole M. gifted one for me on my birthday. I will never forget that day. 10/10
I didn’t get one yet but if I did it would also be for Cole M.’s girlfriend, we would have amazing sex
Was a gift and arrived on time. Just as advertised. Lots of fun.
The price is a little bit expensive, but the gift arrived as ordered. Thanks!
The price was a little expensive, but the gift arrived as ordered. Thanks!
Great mug got one for my highschool crush
I was very pleased with the mug and I was thrilled that I could purchase a customized item that perfectly suited the person I was gifting. The only issue I had was that it didn't have the quote from the tv show the word came from as that was pictured on the mug prior to purchase.
Came out just as described! Had the full definition. Very pleased!
Perfect gift As a joke I gave one to my mate but I costumised it. It said tom drunk 24/7 ugly and got lovely hair. The lovely hair part was a joke coz he don’t have any. It was his favourite gift he got for his birthday and he drinks his beer out of it 😂
Great mug…. Got one for Cole M.’s girlfriend.
I ordered a customized mug for my gf and everything came out well. There were no autocorrect mistakes and the mug was unscratched. Would shop here again
Also got one for Cole M.'s girlfriend, even faster sex.
Istgd imma force my mum to buy this idek hw i find out but this shit looks fucking fire
Perfect coffee cup for a hockey fan. Great conversation starter.
Perfect gift! My husband loved it. So funny and clever!
Great mug… got one for my girlfriend… instant sex
As always, these are well made mugs that stand up to most anything. And they make perfect gifts (in this case for dirty-minded members of a wedding party). I’m extremely pleased.
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