Braktus Syndrome

When you fart so hard that cactus spikes form and shoot out of your rectum. This illness was discovered by Dr Braktusson in 1982 when a German called Günther literally blew his other patients away in the waiting room. It is a mysterious disease, but it is speculated that a cause might have been the release of Michael Jacksons album "thriller" as Günther was shocked when it was released on december 1st 1982. The disease occurs when the flow of the intestines is disturbed and accelerated until there's only air flowing through, all food gets glued to the now dry and sticky walls of the intestine and stay there until enough water is absorbed that the airflow breaks off pieces. Those pieces get shaped by the unique air flow into small cactus looking spikes and painfully exit the rectum. The treatment for braktus syndrome was never perfected, it is a quite difficult to treat someone who is farting out spikes. Günther died prematurely.