boss

1. That guy you know who came over to your place earlier today when you were at work, banged your girlfriend from behind while smoking a blunt, stole your iPod (with her permission, of course), and left that weird stain by the foot of your bed that you were just wondering about. Strangely, you do not feel bothered by this and are instead filled with great respect for him. Now you know why your girlfriend sometimes calls you 'John' during sex, when your name is Steve. Everyday he does at least five (5) things that you wish you could do but are too much of a pussy to. 2. That girl you know who is better friends with all of your friends than you are. She is also better looking on a bad day than you on a good day. Celebrities read gossip magazines about her. She once had a one night stand with Johnny Depp and left him in the morning with a tear in his eye. He still tries to call her and leave voicemails every so often. You named your cat Sarah after her, so that you could try to use it as a conversation topic to talk to her. This conversation attempt was an overwhelming failure. 3. A word that non-boss people like you use to describe things of extreme awesomeness. Thus, anyone who uses the word 'boss' is by definition not a boss.