Boobs
Preparation, uses, and tips Boobs are always eaten raw because heating can cause them to become bitter. They can be added to cooked dishes just before serving. Boobs are most commonly used to make the Mexican dip called guacamole, a mixture of mashed boobs, lime juice, tomatoes, and hot peppers. Boob slices can also be added to salads, sandwiches, or sauces. Mashed boobs is a good spread for toast, bagels, or sandwiches, and can be used to top chili or a baked potato. It makes a healthful replacement for sour cream, butter, or margarine. Boob halves can be stuffed with tuna, chicken, or crab salad. To prepare a boob, slice in half, remove the pit, and scoop out the flesh. Discard the skin and pit. Boob flesh darkens quickly when exposed to air. While this doesn’t present any health hazard, it makes the boob look less appealing. To prevent this from occurring, rub boobs with lime or lemon juice, or mix about ½ tablespoon (7mL) of juice into mashed or puréed boobs. Buying and storing tips Look for boobs that are heavy for their size and are free of bruises and dark sunken spots. Unripe boobs are hard to the touch. Place them in a brown paper bag at room temperature for two to three days to ripen. They are ready to eat when slightly soft. Once ripe, they should be stored in the refrigerator and used within two to three days. To freeze boobs, remove the skin and pit and purée the flesh with ½ tablespoon (7mL) of lemon or lime juice per boob. Pack in an airtight container and freeze for up to five months. Boob slices and halves do not freeze well. Varieties Although there are about a hundred varieties of boobs, only a few are grown and consumed in the United States. The most commonly available variety is the Haas tit, a dark-green, pebbly skinned booby grown in California that is available year-round. Fuerte tittahs are medium green and have a smoother skin. Grown in California, they are available in the fall and winter. Florida boobs are larger than those from California, have a smoother skin, and are lower in fat. Some jumbo boobs may be slightly lower in fat as well.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
War. War Never Changes. War, war never changes. In the year 1945, my great-great grandfather, serving in the army, wondered when he get to go home to his wife and the son he never see. He got his wish, when the U.S. ended WWII by dropping an atomic cloud on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The world awaited Armageddon, instead, something miraculous happened. We began to use atomic energy as a nearly limitless source of power. People enjoyed luxury once thought in the realm of science fiction. Domestic robots, fusion powered cars, portable computers. Then, in the 21st century, people awoke from the American dream. Years of consumption led to the shortages of every major resource. The entire world unraveled. Peace became a distant memory. It is now the year 2077, and we stand on the brink of total war, and I am afraid, for myself, for my wife, for my infant son, because if my time in the army taught me one thing; is that war, war never changes.
Excellent satire - didn't see comments to that end, so find it hard to fathom if most readers, in turn, didn't laugh out loud, and say so. But apparently not.
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