bismarck
Pay no mind all of the other definitions here involving penile slapping or other perverted juvenile hoohah, Bismarck is a town in south central North Dakota (and named after Otto Von Bismarck) that is also the state capital, but this is really all it has going for it. It's the 2nd largest city in ND, (with Fargo being #1), but it has the provincial mindset of a town a tenth of its size. Bismarck (also known either as the "Bizzo", "Bis-bang" or "Bisquick") is a quite boring, convervative-minded, extremely philistine, & white-bread town where people aged 18-35 are conspicuously absent, mainly because they have all moved away to other more intellectually & culturally superior cities (mainly to go to school there), namely Fargo, Minneapolis, Seattle, Chicago, etc. The majority of the population that live in Bismarck are all either soccer-mom-type families and the middle-aged to elderly, making for less than a "hip" city (for want of a better term). Bismarck is a depressing, bland shithole, however, it is quite a clean, quiet, and near crime-free city, but that's it. There are no clubs or decent music venues, no decent art museums, no Thai restaurants, no bohemian/intellectual aspects at all, just the same old tired soccer-mom & blue-collar-barfly-catering interests, (however, the "Urban Harvest" festival held downtown every summer is somewhat of a refreshing exception to this). The only form of recreation around here is either getting drunk, or driving up and down Main St. downtown continuously, ad nauseaum, wasting gasoline. Also, the music scene here is quite disappointing, its mainly middle-aged (once again) bar-playing cover bands doing covers of 70s "classic rock" tunes, and white blues players, although there are a few exceptions. However, the music scene here 10 years ago (around 97-98) was quite impressive (even giving Fargo or Minot's scenes a run for their respective monies), with quite a few punk/metal/indie/electronic groups. But alas, this was soon to come to an end with all the people involved in these bands moving far away from here later on :(. Bismarck is a great place to live, if you want to be bored to insanity, or to be deprived of anything of cultural/intellectual significance. What can I say, Bismarck is quite a middle-aged city if there ever was one. I'd leave this city in a heartbeat, but it seems like I'm perpetually impoverished to afford a move...
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