Big McIntosh

To attain the status of "Big McIntosh" one must first travel the world, in a magnificent vessel fit for a pirate lord. They must travel back in time and defeat a Viking army, and become the God of War. They naturally, can bend all elements - basically the Avatar. They are a god amongst mere mortals. They must look Death in the face, and say "Not Today", and carry on their merry way. They are usually seen riding the white warg and were made in the fires of Mount Doom. Their blood and saliva have healing properties. There is not a song a "Big McIntosh" does not know, and they know a song for everything. To someone with the "Big McIntosh" status, rum is juice, and they're usually seen with a bottle of Bacardi. They have been taught the ways of the world by many folk such as; Gandalf, Kratos, Aang, Captain Jack Sparrow, Lestat, ect. To attain the title of "Big McIntosh" is the greatest success in life. It's more significant than finding the end of the internet.