Beebe High School

A place where kids go to school if they don't live close enough to Cabot or Searcy, or were unfortunate enough to go to McRae before the consolidation. Sorry, kids, you had to leave your crackhead town and now your mascot is the badger. Tough luck. Home to many important figures, such as Mrs. Cook, Mrs. Sandlin, Mrs. Williamson (see lesbian), Mr. Barrentine (see Nazi), and many others. It has about 800-900 students 9-12 grade, and most of them are pregnant. Those that aren't are male. Also, most of the kids are on drugs like meth or weed. Half of the kids dip in the middle of class, and the teachers don't care, Some of the kids go to their cars and smoke during lunch, and no one notices. All the funding goes to the landscape and the football team, so the computers, science, art, drama, and other programs all blow, along with that whole, pesky "education" part of school. All that's out the window. The dance team is made up of a bunch of kids who aren't cool, skinny, or well connected enough to make the cheerleading squad. Half the cheerleading squad is sleeping with the football team. Half the football team is gay and doesn't want to tell anyone. But I guess that goes for the baseball team and the basketball team, too. The goth kids are almost all idiots who don't want anything except for their parents to give a shit and stop smoking ganja when they should be at a parent teacher conference oh, and they want to not conform and be little bitches like all the preps, but that never works. All the nerds are trying so desperately to be preps instead of just doing what makes them happy. All the other kids in between are the ones who get pregnant, get arrested, or graduate and never leave. All of us who work work shit jobs, and we never expect to be working there for the rest of our lives, but hey, someone has to be the manager. See, the sad truth of it is, this is the place where we go to pretend that the world gives a shit about us and that we will be able to be all that we can be in the world, every single one of us, and that every jock will go professional, and every artist will make it big, while the establishment is busy filling our heads with nonsense and trying to get us to pay social security out of the paychecks from our shit jobs so they can retire from their shit jobs. They are trying to make us functional human beings, but really, they all know we're just a bunch of kids in a little town in a state no one cares about. The good parts, though, are things like the band. The band is really good. Another good part is the cafeteria food. It's pretty good. And our test scores don't suck as much as some places in Arkansas. But hey, if you win a race in the special olympics....