Bears

A terrifying beast that will literally rip your face of just so that he can show his bear buddies how stupid you look. A bear will fuck your mother while fingering your little sister and then eat your pancreas while drilling a hole in the top of your head and then pissing up your nose an out that hole. A bear can swallow an orange and shit out a new world religion. When you see waves at the beach, its because the ocean is trying to escape from bears who feel like swimming. A retarded boy from Wisconsin once hugged a bear on a camping trip long ago. That boy turned out to be Jesus. The Space Shuttle was originally created to escape from Bears and find a new bear-free planet. The Appollo and Columbia shuttles had the misfortune of not bear-proofing the doors. The Extinction of the Dinosaurs was actually caused by one Bear and 7 Beers. Friday the 13th is based on the true story of a Bear who got bored on day. A Grizzly from Northern Canada has more friends on Myspace than Tom. God decided one day to fight a Bear in one of his forests. The outcome resulted in the forest becoming the Sahara Desert and God becoming Anna Nicole Smith.