Barney

“Barney has a massive package and boy does he know how to use it.” Said nobody ever. Barney is a registered sex offender. He puts the meaning in the saying “big feet small meat.” His lack of inches downstairs is not the only reason he failed to ever feel the touch of a women. But also his STI’s he catches from he’s dead dog he keeps chained up in his shed behind his house. Barney is feared by all children in his area. But he uses his favourite sayings to pick up this kids. Such as “cousin is only a word”. Or “age is just a number”. Or my favourite “I just shat my pants may I please get in yours”. If you would like to find a Barney head towards your nearest kindergarten or primary school or elderly home. Generally drives a little white van. And is always smiling