Agnes Irwin School

A private all-girls school on the Main Line which breeds eating disorders and low self-esteem. About 6 or 7 percent of women in the United States suffer from an eating disorder, but about 40 percent of Agnes Irwin girls think they're too fat and need to lose weight before J. Crew's new spring line comes out and will result to spending lunch in the library or sneaking off to the secret bathroom next to the theater to vom. Every other high school in America may have the average slacker/burnout population, but at Agnes Irwin the biggest slacker is someone who doesn't get 9 copies of APUSH notes before the test - which Wigs will almost invariably score an A-/B+ - a tragedy to Irwins' girls. But these high-strung, uptight, and might I add hungry young women know how to get down on the weekends. You might spot an Irwin's girl getting her grind on at a Haverford mixer, swilling at a house party (most likely held at a mansion where the parents have jetted out of town for the weekend), or blowing lines in a bathroom stall at Shampoo. Well, I guess you wouldn't see her blowing lines, but trust me she is. Overall a prestigious academic institution instilling in its students a weird obsession with grades, being thin, and knowing the most boys.