60th Base
Things needed: -Exacto Knife (get spare blades) -Minimum 8ft deep pool -Passport -Shamwow -Ticket to Peru -2 sets of Siamese twins (over the age of 18) -Shipping Crate -Snuggie -Shady Lawyer (a damn good one) -Mighty Putty (RIP Billy Mays) - Opiates - "A"Team Van (that shit has to be exact) This requires the hand of a surgeon and the heart of Josef Mengele. Your first task is to get the van. DO NOT SKIMP! How else are you going to get around? Swing by Osco to get the Exacto knife and blades. NOT WALGREENS (they rust)! Track down two different sets of siamese twins. They should at least be over 18. Anything less is too easy and would amount to a 59th and 3/4's base, which is not balla enough. Siamese twins can be whatever sexual preference you desire. They must be tricked into competing in a fictional show where Siamese twins do physical stunts for a cash prize "Monkey On My Back". You will place them in the van. YOU MUST do a minimum of 80 mph the entire time to the secure pool. You will then give the twins flippy-floppys and pool noodles and tell them they must duel to the death in the pool. Whichever two individual ghastly creatures cries out first and or expresses belligerence, those are immediately targeted. Break out the Exacto knife and dive into the pool. YOU MUST disconnect the twins from each other with the blades within ten minutes. This is why you are going to be glad you have spares because the fuckers will fight and shit will break and fall to the bottom of the pool. The belligerent pieces MUST be mismatched and should drop to the bottom of the pool. Belligerent dying twin may try and scramble to surface, this is why you went for 8 feet, it won't get past 4. Sever the husk and leave the leg appendages for the surviving twin. At this point the Devil may appear. DO NOT PANIC. Shield thine eyes and he should return from whence he came. STAY ON TASK. It is now a good idea to use some of the opiates. Force them onto the surviving pieces. Once sedated drag them from the pool and dry them with a Shamwow. Then throw the Shawow into the pool. Yes it soaks up everything. Now mighty putty the mismatched twins together. And mate with them. More opiates. Wrap abomination in Snuggie and place in crate. Put crate in van and ship crate to pre-specified location in Peru where lawyer will recieve crate and hook abomination up to life support. Turn self in to police. YOU MUST make headline news for a minimum of three weeks. Do whatever you can to stay relevant and topical. Profane statements, bowel movements in court proceedings, whatever it takes. DO NOT DIE IN CUSTODY. If all was done correctly and you did not skimp on anything including the lawyer you WILL win your case. The world will want you dead. Flee to "A"Team van again doing 80mph and get directly to airport. Use passport and ticket to Peru. Your crime of nature should be pregnant and ready to give birth by the time you arrive. Get camera and record birth. Name the foul mess Boo-Boo. Mail recording to every national news station and declare yourself "Overlord of Universe" and that your two headed, four-legged double backed breed, will soon take over the world and that you want the world's supply of Swedish Fish. It is a fact that Siamese twins survive off of Swedish Fish, it is like oxygen to them. YOU MUST breed over 100 of these within 5 years. At this point the world leaders will bow on one knee and beg you to stop. You will be whisked away to an antechamber of the United Nations where you will be presented a golden base that reads "LX" (which is 60 in Roman numerals). You will be given control of all information, currency, and plot the future of the human race until you die when your firstborn Boo-Boo (YOU MUST NAME IT BOO-BOO OR NONE OF THIS WILL WORK) will take over. Difficulty level comparison- Completing Mario Kart Rainbow Road without falling while blind and deaf and being eaten alive by a lion.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
My daughter is a Seinfeld afficianato. She was pleasantly surprised when she opened the package with her Penske File mug. It has the definition of Penske File from the Urban dictionary. Totally worth the price!
gay mug very spicy
The Urban Dictionary is a unique place to find anecdotal memories on all sorts of stuff. Their ongoing communication once your order is placed is excellent. I have put in a significant number of orders recently, and the communication regarding my order status is excellent. I have had one order misplaced in transit. They have contacted me to say that they will get back to me, but to this point, they have not. So, that's a bit of a caveat in my rating. Overall, I would rate their products and customer service as good. I would not hesitate to deal with them in the future. Fill Your Boots with Whatever You Want to Order. Nice job, "Urban Dictionary."
Thank you for sharing this Unique piece of Artwork. You are the only one that offered this. Thank you for the quality service you have provided not only in what you offer but right on to the quality packaging as well. Thanks again - Peggy Hall
My brother Tom became an uncle & urban dictionary created a wonderful uncle Tom mug…
It is special to have a mug that has to do with my dad who invented a word when we were growing up. He passed away last year. Drinking from this mug is like spending time with him.
Quick turnaround time and good quality merchandise.
very cool kanye for me gave it to my crush and now were dating so yea
I bought a Prone mug and i love it its so good imma prone to the bathroom now brb
This mug gives my life purpose. It's what I've always said. Patience is a virtue and hard work never betrays. Ever since I was born I've been struck with one misfortune after another, but today it all paid off. I got my own mug, and I use it anywhere and whenever I can! Both of my legs are shattered because to my wife threw me in the middle of traffic and my windpipe is messed up due to me screaming all the way from the crash site to the hospital thanks to the unbearable pain I was feeling. Although even with all that's happened this is still the best day of my life. I suppose the only problem I have is that whenever I happen to look at my cup I get a little too happy. That causes problems because my life support can't handle my exhilaration, haha! I'm just kidding; that was just a little lighthearted joke of mine. I actually cannot afford life support because I spent all of my life savings on this fine piece of pottery. Not to worry though! I can get through the pain with my will and drugs - I mean medication. P.S. There are definitely no ghosts in the mugs. Just wanted to point that out in case someone was worried about that.
I bought two mugs as gifts for coworkers and they were very pleased. The print was clear and concise. Hopefully they last a long time.
Ordered a gift for a friend I hope he likes it :)
Mug was well-packed when received. Shipping was timely. The mug was as advertised. Very nice.
BEST THING EVER. CUZ YK WHAT!!?!? IT. IS. A. MUG. WITH MY NAME. AND. A COOL DESCRIPTION. ON. IT. I LOVE IT.
Just what I expected! Thank you!
I bought this friggin thing thinking my whole life would change. Guess what? It still sucks! If this friggin thing can't change my life then I don't want it!
This is a great gift to give after our Urban Dictionary inclusion
It's perfect!! Thank you!
My Name is Walter Hardwell White, My Mug was sent to 308 Negra Aroyal Lane, AQ, New Mexico and arrived on-time and I am very satisfied. My "Glock Dookie" mug is great for my lab work, and my friend Pinkman loves it!
I love this cup! My now ex-husband loves his opioids more than life itself. He would constantly pass out dead to the world the only thing I would here was his death moans. I had to call an aid car for him so many time that I can't remember plus 2 or 3 times the doctors told me that if it wasn't for me, he would have died. Her abandoned me after I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer because I was of no use to him any longer. I have no clue now who must be the one that's obligated to save his life any longer. All I know is I'm free from him now. The only thing I'm waiting for is that he finally overdoses himself & he's dead. I am buying a cup to send to him for our divorce anniversary gift so he can keep it in memory of how he treated me.
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