The Mole

A headmaster who behaves and looks like a mole. Wondering through the long corridors of a school somewhere in the UK is The Mole. His tireless search for sanitary conditions have led to many exploits involving his mole-like characteristics- one of which is to hoard litter, just like a Womble. Addressing his sincere lack of intellect can be done in a number of hilarious ways. Laughing out loud during assembly at the amount of times he says the words 'community', 'errrmmm' and 'individual effort' is one way, but is bound to end up decantered by over-zealous deputy-heads. Playing a game of 'Head-Master PinBall' is popular, and at the same time less risky, and involves the act of making a purposeful manouvre towards The Mole while he is walking down the never-ending corridors, and seeing which person refrains from straying from their planned route. The result of this game is somewhat predictable- the pupil always wins- but it never ceases to beckon histerior. Another way for The Mole to demonstrate his stupidity is to take a Year Assembly. During one of these weekly events, The Mole normally stands motionless for ten minutes in an apparently drug induced fix, and after all the other teachers have had a good moan at us, he wakes up and talks about the dangers of illegal substances. Hypocritical and ironic, both at the same time. It is well known that The Mole digs his way to work and back every day. Claiming that he owns the Mazda parked outside in the carpark is just a facade to put us off searching for his mole tunnels, and we can prove this theory because we have NEVER seen him actually drive his expensive car. So, Mole, go and piss of Nebby, and stop getting your minnions to bolluck us!