stay-at-home son

(from stay-at-home mom) A man-child who exhibits the following traits: -does controlled substances -never allows more than 900 seconds to pass between tobacco cigarettes (during the sleeping hours, he must get up at least twice during an 8 hour period to burn one) -bums money off of his friends and never pays them back -the inability to hold a job for more than 40 hours -lives with his parents after the age of 30 -gets checks from the government and spends 75 percent or more on cigarettes, lottery, or alcohol -spends endless hours instant messaging women to try to pick them up for romantic purposes -when having a beverage at home, uses a fresh cup for each drink and never helps with just the dishes that he himself created -attracts alcoholic friends like a rare earth neodymium magnet, especially one who modified himself (cutter) while under the influence -never puts CDs/DVDs back in their cases...discs last an average of 48 hours before noticeable scratches form -always looking for a handout -performs deliberate premeditated installation of spyware onto the PC that is loaned to him / uninstalls Firefox in favor of Internet Explorer -leaves cigarette burn lines (yes lines, not holes) in the carpet -listens only to modern rap narratives and goth-death-metal and must listen to it at 80 dBa at 1 meter -thinks every risk (like spending $20 on a single scratch ticket) will turn out rosy, no matter how far fetched