South Australia: Special Victims Unit

The capital city of South Australia, previously known as Adelaide has been officially designated a progress free zone because of the huge numbers of hysterical conservatives who bend over vomiting with rage and indignation whenever a new idea is presented. Taking the stance that 'this new idea means that they think my old idea is bad'; the people of SA:SVU take such ideas, suggestions, and pleas for some sort of progress as a personal affront to their character - something which they shouldn't do, firstly because it's not how to have an adult conversation, and secondly because they have no character to speak of. While many cities have their fair share of whinging, tiresome old shits; Adelaide has, because of decades of 'bright flight'; been left with a much higher percentage of shits than other major Australian cities. SA:SVU is now a toxic hell hole for anyone with more than half a brain cell. Investors go where the talent is, and they're not going to Adelaide, the renewal project is a joke, and the festivals such as Fringe only serve to advertise what you can get in other cities all year round; but can only get in Adelaide for one month a year. Those not ranting hysterically are making excuses for Adelaide; that a city with a population of 1.2 million doesn't need more business, entertainment, big name artist performance, good governance, or opportunities for young people to do well in their life.