Schjunk Hoodie
A cross between the words Schlong (or Schlort or Schledium) and Junk. Used to refer to one's penis and other free-hanging genitalia collectively. The female terms are either Schpussy, Schmunk or Schtwat, and there's another completely different story behind that one... maybe later. Actually originated about five minutes ago in my bedroom, but I will now provide a long and elaborate false story to back up my ideas and claims... *ahem* Originated in 1521, when King Henry VIII of England said to his three most favoured courtiers; "Thou shalt disperse, and bringeth to me eight-and-ten tankards of thy finest mead. Whilst thou doeseth this most perfect of distractions, I shall make sweet, sweet love to thy maiden daughters, and impregnate them, in hope of finding myself a suitable heir...eth." The courtiers duly dispersed to 'bringeth' their mead to the King. All but one, that is - Sir Franck Hitler (Adolf Hitler's great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, GREAT grandfather, on his mother's side) who said, roughly; "No." For this, King Henry took him to the guillotine, and ordered for him to be beheaded. Unfortunately, he stood up at the last second, deciding that he didn't want to die, and he got one of his balls and half of his penis chopped off. The king then laughed so uproarously, and said "I laugh so uproarously at this, as Sir Hitler's sch..." it was at this point that the king realised it was not only Franck's schlong that was chopped off, but also the majority of his junk. Using his notoriously quick wit, the King then turned the phrase into one of such cunning, it would be used... never untill I came up with it now, anyway, he then said "..junk was slicethed thusly from his body!" His maidens and courtiers then looked at each other rather puzzledishly. Sensing that further explaination was needed, the King explained further. They then laughed together so uproarously, that... well they laughed is the point. The king then made sweet, sweet love to the maidens (who later became his wives, but that's not really true either, and my fingers are getting tired) and drank mead untill he got randy with the minstrels. (As you've probably guessed by now, this is the explanation of Hitler's one-balldedness - it's hereditary. Not really, but it makes the whole thing a hell of a lot more interesting, doesn't it? He actually only had one ball as he got an STD off a orostitute while living on the streets of Vienna as a failed artist. He had to have it amputated.) Can also be used as a term of frustration.
The Urban Dictionary Hoodie
Customer Reviews
TO THOSE ASKING, YES, THE GORGEOUS MAN COMES WITH THE SWEATSHIRT BUTTTT YOU HAVE TO PAY 100 TIMES MORE THAN ASKING!
Better then Gucci and LV I bought 3 of these and omg I’m done it’s literally the best hoodie I have ever worn.Its so good that I think the hoodie give me powers like Shaggy.I hope this becomes better than any other brand that’s how good it is.
Orderd a large hoodie about two years ago and the print in still holding up. I recently order a XL just do to the fact that the original has shrunk a little. The new hoodie is made with thicker material and fits perfect. I recommend ordering one size up.
Hahaha hoodie says cum dump and I wore it in public
Question… does that gorgeous man come with the sweatshirt? I will gladly pay 100 times more than asking!
bro my dog started barking when I wore this hoodie, he started talking in spanish and was like "Aiiiiii te ves sexy ¿Puedo conseguir tu número?" and then he did the stanky leg before he packed his bags and got 3 tickets to bikini bottom. I asked him who the other 2 people were and he told me "nah i just tryna sleep". Had to respect the dog, he got that dog in him. but yeah the hoodie was warm
made me look like the gyatt rizzler,the girls loved it!!!
It was softer than expected! Great fit for me, I love the way it wears. It is my favorite sweatshirt
Size adult medium unisex was a perfect fit. Shirt was very soft. Could be a bit thicker for the price.
Very expensive for just a word on a sweatshirt, but my son was thrilled with it.
I kinda liked it.
Excellent It's the best only that accessibility to my home town Kampala Uganda seems to be honestly had.I just wish.I would get also things like Mugs,T shirts ,Personelised pens.Different colours.
Quality This is the highest quality product
Just amazing I started browsing on the urban dictionary for the best most exquisite word I could find. And lo and behold I found this! This word, or words fit so perfectly on the sweatshirt it to like it was made to be. The comfy and soft material truly hugs your body and makes you not want to get up Or do anything. 10/10
I LOVE THIS HOODIE!! It’s very comfortable, the writing seems like it’ll last for more than a few washes. Something to consider is embroidery! That’ll make your products stand out from just a regular hoodie with printings. Worth every dollar.
Mr Tulppo Is next This hoodie is my favorite article of clothing
Would be South better to have the definition on it as well like we used to be able to customize tshirts, sweats or mugs especially at the higher prices…
Absolutely brilliant my Argentinian son wi be very pleased
My boy like the hooded attire.
Navy Quality Goods Awesome! My girlfriend Becca loves it!