Purpleism

Also known as the Church of the Pure Purple, Purpleism is an absurdest pseudo religion started in the Pacific Northwest of America decrying the unaesthetic in life as a reaction against all the stupid religious nonsense going on in the world. Some of the tenets are: -No killing over religious issues. -The Religion Purple Priests are never taller than 2 universal cubits and 2 palms (or for US Standard, 3'6") because that puts their eyes at precisely the right point to be able to see clearly, The Color Purple, as it is most visible at that height off any horizontally planed surface. Logic: -As there can be no nothing, something must exist. Therefore, the concept of God is a non-sequitur. -Purpleism is most notable near Universities. In Cinema: -"Pan and scan" (what is sometimes misleadingly called, "full screen") is an outright sin. --Language / content should never be altered. Only the director has that right, and even that should be greatly limited. -Nudity is not ugly or offense, people that think it is, are. -Sound should be standardized so you are never blasted by changing channels, or when you go from a show to a commercial. Commercials that break this rule should lose their access to the television (or radio, etc.) medium. Romance: -Love someone for themselves, not for who they "should" be, or for who one wants them to be; and, -Find a way to communicate to your partner, Exactly, as precisely as possible anyway, Who it IS that you are.