Pirate

1. A seafaring, swashbuckling, rum-guzzling, booze-smuggling, freebooting, filibustering, far-marauding, trespassing, sabre-rattling, word-cursing, gold-toothing, eye-patching, peg-legging, commandeering, vagabonding, bootlegging, buccaneering, highway-robbing, wave-raiding, booty-looting-plundering-and/or-pilfering-brigand. Occasional irritant to pre-industrial world trade and international shipping, see Captain Phillips. A person considered sinful and immoral by European colonial empires that engaged in the slave trade and ethnic cleansing. A dangerous criminal, unless enlisted on our side, and then known as a Buccaneer, a Corsair or a Privateer. 2. An original Pastafarian, as mentioned in the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, one of the Chosen People, the precursors to the modern Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. 3. The sworn enemy and worst nightmare of a Ninja, to which a Pirate is always incalculably superior. 4. A saintly computer programmer, making expensive intellectual property free through their Bay. 5. An evil, profiteering, fat-cat, corporate, commie, big-wig thief, freebooting online content for its ad revenue at the creator's expense 6. CAPTAIN, Jack Sparrow.