hippies

I’m sure at one point in time, hippies once stood for something. But none of that really matters now because the new wave of faux-hippies has completely trampled out any past achievements and set the whole movement back at least four-hundred years. Your modern day hippie is a white, middle-to-upper-middle class 20-year old college student. He (or she) will drive a hybrid or some other “green” car that they own because their yippie parents bought it for them. He will live in your local coffee/tea café and go on and on about western or eastern philosophy, depending on his personal bent, until blood shoots out of your ears. When he runs out of pretentious, grandiose questions to pose, he will proceed to make Noam Chomsky look like Rush Limbaugh with his political rhetoric. He will probably hang out with homeless people to earn “street cred,” not realizing that these same people want nothing more than this hippie to have a seizure from too much LSD so they can make off with a wallet full of cash. Words such as “word,” “chill,” and “dank” will be used. These three words will most likely even be used in the same sentence to describe Phish to someone. He will treat the police like shit because the police are “the man” and more importantly, “the man who stole my drugs.” What a shame that all of these free spirits will one day be shackled down with corporate jobs, wearing tailored suits, (and Jerry Garcia ties) telling their uninterested kids how awesome they once were.