Ecolda

While Ecolda may present as a common cold in a female's body; Ecolda will present in a male's body as a virus scientifically undecernible from Ebola, a virus that causes severe bleeding, organ failure, and can lead to death. Ecolda is known to cause a grown ass man to whimper, ugly cry (snot bubbles are not uncommon), sudden onset unilateral paralysis of pride, mumbling, chronic severe complaining. To alleviate symptoms the "man" should continue to complain and draw comparison to how much more sick he is than when his wife had the same thing. Blind, clinical studies have shown that long sessions of feeling sorry for yourself can speed up recovery by ~3%. A treatment developed in 1955 called "man up and stop being a little bitch" was long thought to be the panacea for this treacherous illness, but in 2015, it was decided that complaining can fix anything and everything; this explains the sudden uprise of known cases of Ecolda in 2016 and 2017.