Canada's History

A notoriously gruesome sexual act, most commonly performed in the Pacific Northwest of the United States. This involves the male filling every possible oriphis of the woman, including the anus, oral cavity, vagina (or "beaver" if you prefer), and additionally the nasal cavaties and at least one earhole. Obviously, the penis and tongue are not enough to satisfy these requirements in most cases, so foreign objects are used as needed. These objects include, but are not limited to: pencils, pens, glue sticks, moose antlers, pine boughs, dildoes, hockey sticks, vegetables, and assorted trophies. The term "Canada's History" has several recognized origins. One theory is that when the entire population of extremely polite people of Earth migrated to Canada in the year 47 A.D., this was the predominant method of sexual intercourse. The more accepted theory, however, is related to the strange phenomenon associated with "Canada's History": both partners spontaneously begin singing the Canadian National Anthem upon reaching orgasm.