Business Class

(noun) The civilized part of an airplane where you sip sparkling wine at 35,000 feet and convince yourself you’ve “earned this” because you answered two emails last week. Nobody should know that you've ended up here because of a free upgrade to due capacity reasons. And dont forget that this is the part of the plane where flight attendants pretend to care more just because you might have paid their monthly income for just the one-way ticket. Description: A sanctuary of legroom and linen napkins, Business Class is where the Wi-Fi is faster, the air smells faintly of ambition, and the seat reclines further than most people’s life goals. It’s not just travel — it’s performance relaxation. Population: • Entrepreneurs who say “I don’t fly coach — not for vibrational reasons.” • Tech bros typing on laptops that haven’t been turned on since boarding. • People who post a photo of champagne with the caption “Grind never stops.” (yep, the ones who got that upgrade for free) Side Effects: • Using “jet lag” as an identity. • Forgetting that the curtain behind you conceals the rest of humanity. • Spontaneous urge to say “I’ll circle back” mid–glass of Chardonnay.