anhedonia

There are so many things one can feel in this life – anger, joy, jealousy, love, shame, happiness, embarrassment, amusement, sadness, euphoria, frustration. The roller coaster of emotion whips over high peaks, spins, and dips, over and over again – it’s thrilling, and it’s scary, and it’s one hell of a ride. Except now, I want you to imagine that one day you get on the roller coaster, and as it climbs, falls, twists, and turns, you realize that you feel nothing. You are sitting in a tiny cart being whipped around like a wet noodle, wondering why everyone else is laughing and throwing their hands in the air. The technical word for feeling nothing is anhedonia. Anhedonia is one of the main symptoms of major depressive disorder, but someone might also experience this sort of reaction in response to things like anxiety or trauma. In grief, it is common to experience emotional numbness, especially in the days to weeks following the death.