Crippleshits Tee

(Noun) A sudden, explosive movement of the lower bowel that's barely arrested by a strong and nimble brown eye sphincter. However, the casualty's lucky break is short-lived as the ordeal becomes a private and painful contest between voluntary and involuntary strength. Symptoms vary by severity and may be evidenced by an awkward forward gait produced by one or more of the following conditions: Clenched buttocks, locked out knees, stiffened toes and protruding upward, a upward-tilted pelvis, grunting/moaning, wild eyes, a sense of impending doom or hopelessness, and unremitting inquiries for nearest bathroom, broom closet, back-alley, or car wash. Untreated, this condition invariably leads to Sharting.