Carved Blumkin- [a.e.: "Carvin' up a Blumkin!", esp. prison lexicon] tee

Carved Blumkin- a.e.: "Carvin' up a Blumkin!", esp. prison lexicon- a festive sex act perpetrated upon new inmates upon their being processed into central lock up and the main prison population in American Prisons- usually occasioned on but not exclusive to Halloween. Turning a new inmate into a "carved blumkin" usually involves his person being purchased as a "wife" (read: "bitch"), in exchange for cigarettes or other such bartered items- as opposed to his merely remaining another bartered item himself (read "everybody's fuck). The act of "carving a blumkin" is therefore both a marital and Hallows Eve ceremonial process of incarceration. The celebration begins with general crotch grabbing by the guests, bachelor, and best men. This is followed immediately by smuggled spoons percussed against the bars, (a clever substitution for wedding bells), calling all to the the altar (read: commode) for the fraternal ritual defecation- followed thereupon with more spoons beating upon the bars, prompting the bachelor to carry his unsuspecting object of adoration directly to his bunk in an act of non consensual conjugal sex (read rape), as a rite of dysfunctional sexual passage... in more ways than one (read: anally). The beating of spoons on bars during the "carving of the blumkin" is the origin for many of our traditions on the outside, such as ringing spoons upon glasses to make the bride and groom kiss upon command.

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The Urban Dictionary Tee

  • Soft, lightweight everyday tee
  • Comfortable unisex fit
  • Combed and ring-spun cotton blend
  • Pre-shrunk fabric with a tear-away label
  • Bella+Canvas 3001
  • Returns & defect-free guarantee

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Customer Reviews

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Another hit!

John E. Sep 25
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Great shirt, great service. A big thumbs up👍🏻

Beren S. Sep 24
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I always get so many compliments when I wear this (my favorite) shirt. I have been able to give out my phone number to lots of nice old men and my parents think it's great that I have so many nice mentors grooming me into a nice young boy who is willing to "follow the rules ".

Rick S. Sep 11

Very comfortable and love the tyoeface

John E. Sep 5
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Very nice t-shirt. Fits perfect.

Angela J. Sep 2
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FUCK you urban dictionary.

Nah N. Aug 21
Review by Malachy G.

My brother loved the shirt and the dogs name is cum stain

Malachy G. Aug 6
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The small shirts for men looks like an extra small. Other than that I love the shirt.

Dian C. Aug 5
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AMAZING I GOT THE HILAARIOUS SHIRT AND LOVE IT MORE THAN ANYTHING!

scarlett Jul 31
Review by Kristen G.

I absolutely loveeeeeeee my shirt ! Fast shipping too !

Kristen G. Jul 22
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hehe mine said skibidi

alpha g. Jul 22
Review by Fred F.

Feels great love the shitt

Fred F. Jul 3
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Great shirt. Great service. Shopify doesn’t track the shipment accurately though. However, when I reached out to Urban Dictionary customer service, they were able to help me.

Smitha M. Jul 3
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Wore it to school.

Monica L. Jun 28

Love this shirt so much

Joey L. Jun 16
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Review by No M.

I love this t-shirt that says morbussy. It allows me to show off both my love for Morbius and the fact that I get no Morbussy.

No M. Jun 15

This shirt feels great, perfect fit too.

Tyler S. Jun 6
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Great looking t-shirt. Good quality. Printing looks good.

Jane B. Jun 3
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Cool I didn’t order anything I just have a lot of free time and not a lot of hobbies

Hi May 31

Fun and soft.

Donald G. May 21
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