BattyMatty Mug
A BattyMatty is a curious creature, mostly land dwelling, but known to be attracted towards bright disco lights, where he will 'Shake Wiggle Wiggle' until forced to leave. There is only one identified species of BattyMatty, and to date, no females have been identified. They are presumed to be shy. BattyMatty's often appear to possess Cherub like qualities, which act as a sort of camouflage to lure unsuspecting females to the seedy BattyMatty way of life. From time to time, BattyMatty's will persuade a female to dress like a schoolgirl, and rumour has it, the schoolgirl is often 'naughty'. Despite their outgoing nature when music is playing and lights are flickering, in daylight, BattyMatty's prefer to remain withdrawn, often seeking refuge behind a PC monitor where humans cannot see them from their allocated seating positions, and instead are forced resort to speculating about their movements. There have been unsubstantiated claims that between the hours of 12-2pm they like to eat a rabbit food like mixture of lettuce and such like, occasionally sprinkling in broken Wheeties to create a cruton like effect. While this 'cruton-creation' may at first appear a stroke of genius, this is not a claim often aimed at the BattyMatty's, who often send incoherent emails, and are incapable of providing details when completing an 'Accident Report Phase 2 - Follow Up' Document. They are also unable to spell. At all. Despite these shortcomings, the BattyMatty's merily trot through life, with a spring in their step, and newly toned biceps, due to a pleasant outlook on life which leaves them safe in the knowledge that their existence is beneficial to the office eco-system in which they habitually reside. BattyMatty's - We salute you.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
Customer Reviews
this is my new piss mug
Cool
I got this for my dad but he didn’t want it so he just gave it to me. Ever since I took it back my life has been the greatest it’s ever been. I asked my other dad if he wanted but he said no too. Oh well, I get to enjoy this product for myself more.
It was the greatest mug I've ever ordered :skullll
This mug has made me so happy. This is more than I could have ever wanted in life.
My friend loved it.!!
I like it, but not a lot. Also, the mugs are overpriced.
i luv it! great quality and actually the same hight as mossoflife!
Loved it, my co-workers liked the mug.
best mug every i get to wake up every morning to sip out of my sexy lama mug
I really like this mug. It’s quite bizarre and helps me live a quiet life in my small town of Morioh, Japan.
briliant buy great gift for my grandkid! love it!
This mug saved my life from spiraling down a deep dark path.
Great present for my wife, she uses it all the time, and it's her to a T.
I love it. High quality. Just as I had hoped.
This mug looks great! I love it!
I have a crippling addiction to these mugs, i have 459
This mug is wonderful it’s so funny and I gave it to the kid that made the Definition and he started dying laughing
War. War Never Changes. War, war never changes. In the year 1945, my great-great grandfather, serving in the army, wondered when he get to go home to his wife and the son he never see. He got his wish, when the U.S. ended WWII by dropping an atomic cloud on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The world awaited Armageddon, instead, something miraculous happened. We began to use atomic energy as a nearly limitless source of power. People enjoyed luxury once thought in the realm of science fiction. Domestic robots, fusion powered cars, portable computers. Then, in the 21st century, people awoke from the American dream. Years of consumption led to the shortages of every major resource. The entire world unraveled. Peace became a distant memory. It is now the year 2077, and we stand on the brink of total war, and I am afraid, for myself, for my wife, for my infant son, because if my time in the army taught me one thing; is that war, war never changes.
Excellent satire - didn't see comments to that end, so find it hard to fathom if most readers, in turn, didn't laugh out loud, and say so. But apparently not.