Skunk Ape Mug
The Skunk Ape is one of the most dangerous creatures known to man. The Skunk Ape got its name from its huge body and its awful odor. It lives in the state of Florida, where it has been sighted many times. The Skunk Ape is most deadly in the dark, where it gains all of its powers, in the daytime it is slowed down by its anti-photosynthetic cells. It has lunarsynthetic cells, which when energy is sent to it from the moonlight, its abilities increase 10 fold. With a raging torrent of energy flowing through its body, it is able to compress it's body and stretch its limbs, bones, and organs, to grab, strangle, and even simulate teleportation, by its fast stretching, it seems as though it has teleported. The skunk ape reproduces asexually; by laying eggs, thus limiting its genetic versatility. This is the main reason the skunk ape has not evolved and retains its ancient mystic powers. The egg of the skunk ape is generally the size of a human head. The egg is green in color, and tends to glow in the dark. When a Skunk Ape is seen the best thing to do is to arm yourself with any type of light. Flashlights and camera flashes work effectively in this situation, camera flashes stun and blind the skunk ape. The best option is to keep your eye and your light on it, if the light leaves it's fur for one second he could appear behind your back, and it's lights out for you.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
Customer Reviews
this is my new piss mug
Cool
I got this for my dad but he didn’t want it so he just gave it to me. Ever since I took it back my life has been the greatest it’s ever been. I asked my other dad if he wanted but he said no too. Oh well, I get to enjoy this product for myself more.
It was the greatest mug I've ever ordered :skullll
This mug has made me so happy. This is more than I could have ever wanted in life.
My friend loved it.!!
I like it, but not a lot. Also, the mugs are overpriced.
i luv it! great quality and actually the same hight as mossoflife!
Loved it, my co-workers liked the mug.
best mug every i get to wake up every morning to sip out of my sexy lama mug
I really like this mug. It’s quite bizarre and helps me live a quiet life in my small town of Morioh, Japan.
briliant buy great gift for my grandkid! love it!
This mug saved my life from spiraling down a deep dark path.
Great present for my wife, she uses it all the time, and it's her to a T.
I love it. High quality. Just as I had hoped.
This mug looks great! I love it!
I have a crippling addiction to these mugs, i have 459
This mug is wonderful it’s so funny and I gave it to the kid that made the Definition and he started dying laughing
War. War Never Changes. War, war never changes. In the year 1945, my great-great grandfather, serving in the army, wondered when he get to go home to his wife and the son he never see. He got his wish, when the U.S. ended WWII by dropping an atomic cloud on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The world awaited Armageddon, instead, something miraculous happened. We began to use atomic energy as a nearly limitless source of power. People enjoyed luxury once thought in the realm of science fiction. Domestic robots, fusion powered cars, portable computers. Then, in the 21st century, people awoke from the American dream. Years of consumption led to the shortages of every major resource. The entire world unraveled. Peace became a distant memory. It is now the year 2077, and we stand on the brink of total war, and I am afraid, for myself, for my wife, for my infant son, because if my time in the army taught me one thing; is that war, war never changes.
Excellent satire - didn't see comments to that end, so find it hard to fathom if most readers, in turn, didn't laugh out loud, and say so. But apparently not.