Dean Koontz
1. An ultraconservative, hack bestselling author with no discernible writing skills whatsoever, read (and defended) by semi-literate Neanderthals who consider his tripe "real good writin'." Books are characterized by stilted dialogue, senseless plotting, intrusive author's voice, messy tone, surface characterization, tired genre tropes, laugh out loud resolutions, and metaphors so sloppy they would make a six-year-old roll her eyes. Read by your grandmother, your weird uncle, a couple of your friends and that slutty, weird girl you knew in high school and/or college. Also: read by people who wouldn't know real literature if a copy of "The Great Gatsby" fell out of the sky and knocked them unconscious. 2. Author whose best fortune came when a man named "Koontz" banged his mama, bestowing him with the name "Koontz," ensuring he would be shelved next to "King," a much superior writer in every sense of the word.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
my friend loves funky monkey mug

Great idea to be able to offer this quality mug. I wish it would have come with the full text including examples listed on Urban Dictionary but I do love the mug. Just bought my 2nd one. Packaging is duarable and perfect for rough transit.
¡Soy profesora de español y lo voy a usar en mi clase en la universidad!
I wish the text on the back wasn’t so small—if I had to order it over again I would’ve inquired as to whether the words could be enlarged so it filled up more of the “white space” on the back
You guys are fantastic! Will continue to do business with you. Thank you so very much.
Now I have a UD mug! Good quality, nice printing, great definition!
Your company did an excellent job with our order. The beautiful mug with our son's word and definitions arrived in perfect shape, thanks to your outstanding box design! I have never seen a box so cleverly made. I cannot bring myself to recycle it;). The mug will be enjoyed for years to come. Many Thanks, Deborah Crosley Holland and Michael Holland

Got this mug for my daughter and she was taken a back. I explained to her why it was funny, but she didn't seem to understand. Its been a few days since my daughter has talked to me. I'm positive she loves it! I'm hoping to hear from her soon :)
Arrived before my daughter’s birthday, which was good. Not chipped or cracked, so that was good, too. Ichabod Crane looked good on the ferra color.
Looks great. Made a cool gift. Quick shipping!

It holds liquid, very good
I use it to catch my cum
the mug is really durable, my parents beat me with it and it doesnt break
Love this mug, I like to use it to defecate in which I then feed to my family. 5 stars.
Quick shipping and awesome hysterical product!
I fucked with it for months before i finally ate it.
Great mug! Got a homo mug for a friend's birthday and he adored it. :)
love it

THINGS ARE GETTING A LITTLE WILD AT CAILLOU'S HOUSE!
The thing is amazing. Also everything on the back is true!
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