Republican Mug

When Europeans think of America, they think of fat, SUV-driving, bigoted hicks. They think of Republicans. The Republican may be found in any socioeconomic class, whether it be the Trailer Park Republican, the Suburbanite Republican, or the Old Money Republican. They are oftentimes religious, but rarely anything other than Christian. What the Republican fails to realize, however, is that, were Jesus alive today, he'd probably be liberal. He hung out with the dregs of society, was charitable, and was a radical. None of these things embody Republican beliefs, unless you consider the dregs of society to be Wall Street, or the KKK. By all means, the common Republican will spend time with these people. It is not uncommon to be given dirty looks by the Republican for wearing a Darfur T-Shirt, a PETA shirt, or any punk band shirt. Never tell them that you are a vegetarian, or worse, a Jew. If you are Jewish, be wary of the Republican- they WILL tell you that your people killed Jesus (however, they fail to realize that this is like saying the Americans killed Martin Luther King, as Jews made up the majority of the Biblical World). The Republican detests anything radical: just this week, one confided in me that, were his best friend homosexual, he would disown him. The Republican supports war, oftentimes on the rationale that we must maintain our reputation in the world. Which one would that be? The World-Cop status, or the Most Hated Superpower status?