Chuck Norris

One of the most overrated jerks to ever be loved by adolescents. A third-rate martial artist (who was destroyed by Bruce Lee), Christian fundamentalist (wishes to have America become a puritanical christian theocracy), raging conservative, Total Gym spokesman, annoying white guy, and part of Sarah Palin's "real America". Having been in plenty of movies (usually fighting red people, brown people, or yellow people) that have gained popularity amongst American youth, Chuck Norris was recently treated to a mock-godhood in the form of jokes. Being more commonly associated now with "pushing the earth down when doing push-ups" than his christian fundamentalism, Norris has been able to avoid falling into obscurity. Mike Huckabee, in an attempt to attract a younger, keener group of conservatives in his presidential bid, enlisted Chuck Norris in an ad campaign. Lacking any political substance, Huckabee would sit next to Chuck, raddle off a few Chuck jokes, broken up by Chuck Norris raddling off the old fashioned conservative campaign rhetoric, and ending with Chuck punching the air and saying "Chuck Norris Approved!" Huckabee lost steam early in the campaign, and Norris latched himself to McCain. Norris has also worked with his wife to advertise efforts to begin teaching the bible in public schools across America. Believing that America is founded upon "Christian principles", he seems to have no problem reaching the conclusion that we should therefore essentially abandon democracy in every way but name and become a theocracy, with christian leaders, christian populace, and the bible as soul judgement of how to run the country. It is unknown, but doubtful, that Norris has read the entire bible. Final note: His popularity has become so great amongst adolescent males and their middle-aged male teachers, that anyone who attempts to criticize him is bound for an ass-whooping (as I am sure to get after sending this in).