Manchester United Mug

One of the biggest clubs in the world. No, You aren't the biggest, Mancs. Says who? Messi and the rest of Barca do. But you're the best in the UK and most successful. Feel better? Their gaffer, although he is a legend, is also a whisky-nosed gobshite. Known to have every official in the F.A. in his lap from Mike Riley to the Northwest Counties Premier league part-time ref. Likes to look at the fourth official and tap his watch his to intimidate him, especially if Yernited are losing. Naturally, this results in a rediculous and usually unustifiable amout of extra time added, to allow United to nick a result. Also likes to flail his arms wildly in rage and jump around like a twat if a ref does dare stand up to him and not rule in Yernited's favor, all while sipping on Heineken on the touchline. The best player on earff (well according to Mancs, anyway) plays for them. Cristiano Ronaldo, and yes, he is class. However, he is a miserable little twit who flies through the air at the slightest touch, usually making sure he is convieniently inside the opposition box, and convieniently when Yernited happen to be losing, in search of a penalty. In the rare event that a peno is not given, he likes to join in with his teammates in surrounding and bullying the official. When not doing this he can be found modelling bird's clothing , crashing cars into guardrails, and sexing up the local Mancunian transvestites for cash. Their supporters - oh my, lol. Most of them are from the following: Asia, Middle East, London, for the most part. 99.5% of them couldn't locate Manchester on a map, never mind say they have been to Old Trafford. I'm not quite sure how they even watch United, since most of them are either huddled in mud huts or are too poor to afford a television, if you review the above locations I mentioned. Not that they're missing anything, well they aren't missing any atmosphere by not being at O.T. cos there is none, just 70,000 different accents, none of them English, munching away on prawn sarnies. Any attempt to slight Yernited to Yernited supporter is usually met with the good old rebuttal "How many trophies have you lot won?" When you go to Old Trafford, you will be amazed by the lack of actual team songs that Manc fans have, other then "Glory, Glory Yernited!". Usually what you hear are : songs about scousers, songs about Liverpool FC, songs about Hillsborough, songs about Heysel, songs about Good ol Leeds, and songs about Citeh. You will also see numerous banners concerning those 3 clubs as well in the ground. But they aren't obsessed or bitter, no not them lot! lol. On the topic of Hillsborough, they seem to find humor in singing about dead scousers, yet get all uptight when scousers or Leeds fans sing about Matt Busby and Munich, or when Fabian Delph made the aeroplane gesture at Oldham after scoring earlier this season. Hypocriticla much? There you have it folks. Yernited. Doubt most people will like it, but what do you expect? I'm a leeds fan!