rockaway

Rockaway: no not that Rockaway, the Rockaway,where parents and grandparents alike willingly sell their children into slave labor if they refuse to drink alcohol before they can walk. It has the highest concentration of Irish people in the whole intergalactic galaxy. There are more white asses,freckles, and poorly sculpted bodies than there are single grains of sand on its beaches. By the time children reach the age of 12, they are already giving bouncers high fives and drinking moonshine at anyone of the town's 10,000 bars...AND THATS JUST PREGAMING! The bars don't close...ever. Stear clear non-partyers! Where smoking a joint with the bar owner is perfectly fine, if you give him a handjob of course!! Dogs poop on sidewalks, cab driver's have hearing aids, and nobody's complaining...they're all too drunk!!!!! Cars are obsolete for this "college town without a college", Hampton Cruisers rule the streets...and people are driving them...DRUNK! Late night skinny dipping is perfectly acceptable, in fact its mandatory. Dads neglect children, and its ok cuz everybodys having fun. Coolers on the beach is a religious ceremony, where a breezy kid is captured and sacrificed to the Gods. Its a raging party, where 40 year olds and 14 year olds r shotgunning beers in the rectory of St. Francis de Sales, while Sr. Pat taps the next keg. Need a haircut?No problemo, Frank the skank will be with you in a jiff to massacre your helmet. Yeah, its that kind of town. Where if you listen carefully late at night, you can still hear the soft crooning of a passed rockawayan chanting: "iLLLLLLLLLLLLLL..." And out of respect, those continuing the legacy, all collectively raise their glasses , and softly respond :"..doggers..." I love this place.