chav

Illiterate, badly dressed, unhealthy, unappealing, badly brought up, scum. The lowest species on the planet. Worse than nits and lice. Commonly found on street corners, smoking, picking on people smaller than themselves, causing trouble and ruining our country. Can be seen on Jeremy Kyle, outside McDonalds, and in the county court on special occasions such as their brother's bail assesment or their prize-giving ceremonies (ASBO allocations). They have also been known to threaten people into buying them cigarettes or alcohol, whilst their pregnant thirteen year old girlfriends grab your mobile out of your pocket, to sell at a pawn brokers to fund their bling addiction. Most chavs love mouthing off as if they "blatently" rule the planet, though most of them contradict themselves, for example "I ain't got to get no job and nobody ain't gonna fockin' make me get no job." In this sentence they have badly said that they aren't going to get NO job (ie. they are going to get at least one} and nobody isn't going to make them get no job (nobody will stop me from getting a job). Ignorance must be bliss... Most chavs are only like that because they are a little bit thick, so instead of attending school, they choose to skive and smoke etc. instead, therefore becoming influenced by people similar to themselves. Chambitions... A chambition (chav + ambition) is usually one of the following: Chardonnay and Taneesha, 14 years old, in full earshot of everyone in their set 5 science class... Chardonnay: Oh ma god Taneesha I have blaters got my life well sorted Taneesha: Whassat den bebs? Chardonnay: I am sooo gonna get fockin pregnant wiv Johnno baby, cus I am like lovvin him right now Taneesha: But you'll get well fat and it'll well painful ennet Chardonnay: No right I've got this totally sorted tho mush! If I smoke 15 a day till then my baby will come out earlier and well smaller! And I fink dat cos I'm only small I can just ave all the weight on my belly ennet. Taneesha: Will your mum mind? Your mum will be well cross! Chardonnay: This is THE BEST PART tho dans! Basically I can get a council flat AND drop out of school if I piss my mum off enough! Then me and Johnno can live fo'eva and evaah in our own place thats like totally free because neiva of us works! Taneesha: You are so cleverr tho Chards!