irish

People of Irish descent. Considered the "Blacks of Europe" and for good reason. Scientific analysis has shown the Irish to be closer to apes than most Europeans, this is especially apparant in facial structure. Physically they have large, oversized balloon heads with relatively small brains compared to homo sapiens. Sickly pale white skin with bad teeth is common. Known to be loud and obnoxious in behavior, and prone to alcoholism. Like to think of themselves as tough fighters, but universally known to cut and bleed easily. Have a long tradition of racial intolerance, and are proud of it. Males of the species often have small penises, known as "the curse of the irish". It is believed the "baby dick syndrome" is a major cause of anger issues and alcoholism among the males. Their 'cuisine' is very simple, all foods are boiled with a minimal seasonings. A common snack is a dirty potato fresh from the earth,devoured with much relish! They must eat potatoes at regular intervals, failure to do so will lead to paranoia and mental instability.(eg. "They're Always After me Lucky Charms!") Their beverage of choice to wash the spuds down is bottled sewage known as "Guinness". Interestingly, despite all these shortcomings, they have a "superiority complex" bordering on arrogance. It is believed this developed as a coping mechanism. Occupation: The males are known to work as police officers, where laziness,lack of character, and racist attitudes make them an ideal fit. Others work in non mentally demanding fields such as construction. Mating: Often occurs while intoxicated, birth control is rarely used. Low intelligence and Fetal Alcohol Syndrome are believed to be causative factors... Litters are large, with the female bearing over 15 "tater tots" in an average lifespan. Culture: Have brought the world numerous abominations such as "Riverdance", "U2", hack/plagarist Denis Leary and the always nauseating "Dropkick Murphys".