Emo Kid

Even though labels don't matter, I have decided to put matters into my own hands. Emo kids do not necissarily have to cut themselves, or listen to 'emo bands'... because most suck. Emo is a fashion, a way of life! Sure, many might be depressed and write poems, for I write poems about my suck monkey ass life, but it doesn't mean most are! Some whiney rich kids who afford Hot Topic decide to go all "Rocker".. or have emo friends, or something like that, they think it's cool and try to be the same. "Monkey see, Monkey do." Most emo kids have a very hard home life. Some are poor, or almost poor (cough) and can't even afford Hot Topic, so they go shop at GoodWill, and find the neatest outfits ;D Sometimes they go to Hot Topic, usually for the SALES! O.O </3 Diet (chow, eats, grub, etc..) You must be a Vegan, or strive to be one.. You eat nothing that is an animal, from an animal, in a 500 mile radius from an animal, or anything that casts an animal-shaped shadow. You believe eating meat is ultimately wrong however that doesn't stop you from going on occasional meat-eating binges while at restaurants. You must also be a "straight edge" enthusiast, despite the fact you drink occasionally, not to mention smoke. No matter. Anorexia is often a trait of an emo kid. Hair (the doo) Your hair must be black or at least dyed an ugly dark magenta color. If you are truly punk, you do not shower. You must used 10 gallons of gel in your hair everyday, so much that you are actually styling the gel rather than the hair. You should also have a short haircut, long hair is not emo. Mop tops are usually the most common approach for boys while girls tend to go with the Zelda approach or something equally masculine. Although this appears to be the case for the current Cosmopolitan emo fashion, there also appears to be a new nascent rebellion in the midst. Outrageously long and uncultivated hair now appears to be taking local high schools and community colleges by storm. Accessories (the essential non-essentials) Glasses: Thick, black-rimmed, or horn-rimmed glasses. You most likely do not need them, your vision is probably good enough that you could do without them. Even in a world where more fashionable glasses and contacts are readily available you chose these instead. Lenses are optional. You are striving for the "Weezer geek rock" look. Necklaces: Good choices are those metal/wooden ball necklaces. Piercings: Studs are a good choice if you really want to emo. The other popular piercings are lebret or other lip rings. Belt: This is mandatory (aka "a must"). A studded belt is the most popular choice amongst emo kids. Although reserved for members of the now extinct punk culture, the belt has become a distinct trademark of the emo subculture. To increase your "punk" status, wear multiple three stud pyramid belts. The more, the better. Other belts often seen are ones with loops, stars, or any other kind of silly Lisa Frank design. Please note: these belts do not neccesarily have to be in the loops of your pants. It is pretty obvious you missed the majority of them. Yeah, we know this goes against the function of actually holding up your pants but who said a studded belt was supposed to be functional? Bracelets: You must wear excessive friendship bracelets on both of your wrists. If your hands are a slight shade of purple, you are doing the right thing. The irony in this is you have no friends. Messenger Bags: Standard backpacks are too common and typical of the society you live in. That is why you must rebel. Only messenger bags will do. One strap, one individual. Your bag must be adjusted to a level just below your shoulder blade. In other words, it is necessary to strangle yourself with your bag. Also, it must be covered with excessive pins and patches supporting various "underground" bands that you claim to have bought at shows. It is also okay to wear a patch without understanding is meaning or purpose, just as long as it's there. It is perfectly alright to have more than one patch for the same band. Clothes (the threads) Shirts: For girls the popular emo fashion is a tight t-shirt with random logos/messages or tanktops. Boys prefer the ugly 40s "Nick at Night" approach. The goal is to find the ugliest button down shirt you can. Other picks are v-necks and one size too small cardigans, which should have an ugly senior citizen type pattern to it. Jackets: Common picks include brands such as Dickies, think "gas station jacket". Steal one from Mobil if you have to. You may also choose a more athelete approach by wearing various "vintage" track jackets. Suggested jackets include Adidas and Puma. Pants: Wear heavy slacks which are often too tight and short. You can also wear cuffed denim pants. Shorts are not emo, neither are tight black jeans. Socks: This one applies mostly to girls. Your socks must be very strange. White, regular socks are unacceptable. You must express your creativity through your Argyle socks. They must be very colorful with lots of different patterns and cartoon characters. They must also be in sharp contrast with the other attire you are wearing, which is usually dark, dull, and lifeless. It is a good idea to show your socks off whenever you can by rolling up your pants (this should have been covered in `pants'). Important: make sure everyone sees your socks by putting your feet onto a table/desk or calling attention directly to your feet. If you can't be validated, then what is the point? Shoes: You must own a pair of converse all star low tops, as they are an indicator of your punk status. Any kind of skateboarding shoe will do as well, regardless if you actually skateboard or not. Conclusion: First, allow at least one hour before any event (school, concert, court hearing, bed) to properly put on your costume. A neat emo kid is a happy emo kid. Second, anything claiming to be `emotional hardcore' is just emo with louder voices. Don't be fooled. Understand there is a clear distinction between "pop punk" and "emo", however I intentionally choose not to elaborate on this. Thanks for reading.^-^