FReeper

Posters at conservative website www.freerepublic.com who demonstrate their stunning grasp of wold events daily by reposting e-mailed prayers, dictates from the Presidential Prayer Team, urban legend spam e-mail, and making stupefyingly narrow minded commentary on the place of the USA in the greater world. Freepers away from their keyboard can often be found at gun shows, tractor pulls, bowling alleys, and drinking Mad Dog 20-20 in church dumpsters. Freeper children are colloqially referred to as "Freeplings" and often spring from different fathers. Freeplings can be discovered in public schools when they unmask by challenging their biology teacher to a debate about Charles Darwin and Evolutionary Theory, two subjects to which they have never been exposed. Freepers pride themselves on their inability to grasp scientific, mathematical, language learning, or basic dental hygene. Freepers commonly believe that the bible was written in English, that Benjamin Franklin was a Chinese transsexual, that The Confederacy triumphed during the Civil War, and toothbrushes are the implements of a Satanic Communist plot spurred on by the Cavity Creeps Freeper males can be distinguished by their baseball hats, chewing tobacco stained beards, and low wage jobs. They also maintain a persistant odor of cheap scotch and generic cigarettes. Freeper females can be distinguished by their baseball hats, chewing tobacco stained beards, and low wage jobs. They also maintain a persistant odor of cheap scotch and generic cigarettes. Freeper females enter breeding age at 12 and often begin reproducing within their family unit at 13. Many Freeplings are crosseyed hemophiliacs. Freepers thrive under the misconception that President Bush would like to share a warm Strohs beer and some Buffalo wings with them. They also believe President Bush is infallable, can heal the sick, and were it not for those meddling demoncrats have already thrown the UN out of New York, invaded every other country on Earth to seed democracy, and lowered their taxes such that they could finally pay off their 1984 Chevy Custom Deluxe pickup.