Amityville

This town is made up of people who think they are "something", however, in reality, they are perpetrating the fraud that they do represent "something.” That something amounts to what is now known as: surfing, drinking a lot of beer, playing beer pong, acting thug, smoking marijuana, and listening to good music. Don't be mistaken though, the north side of Amityville is comparable to the south Bronx, mostly on Arbor Day between the hours of 12:03am to 8:43pm. It is like any other town in some respects- there are the parts where the "cool" kids hang out, where the "potheads" hangout, where the "losers" reside and so on and so forth. The Amityville police department can best be described as overly friendly, mostly due to the fact that everyone in the entire tri state area knows them and you can buy PBA cards in 25 cent slot machines. “Hey, if its in red cups, we cant do shit.” Damn straight. Carry on. “What’s that you’re smoking, marijuana? Keep smoking, but might I bother to ask you where you acquired this green looking substance from?” People sometimes have a tendency to drive directly into 7-11s, drive on lawns while you sleep, driving while yelling slurs, driving while firing paintball guns at 14 year olds, and driving while asking and demanding where that "haunted house" might be. Its gotten to that point where everyone that lives in Amityville can give perfect directions, without smirking, to lead these tourists to the east side of Guatemala. Lastly, few species have been spotted residing in Amityville. first we have the white kids (from the south part) trying to be thug. Lets call this species “retarded.” Then we have the surfers, who are generally referred to as "posers," and last but not least we have "hot girls." WAIT. WHAT? Actually, they’re aren’t even that many hot girls living here. if you’re between the ages of 7 and 63 and looking for ass, don’t come to Amityville. Go to Massapequa. Its our "friendly" next door neighbor. (where std’s have been spotted traveling in packs of four with sonic the hedge hog-looking males off of Montauk Highway.) Oh, and everyone knows what the undercover cop cars look like on Halloween.