liverpool

A city that likes to boast about how culturally important it is, despite the fact that the only things to come out of Liverpool are criminals and the god-damn fucking beat-les. It seems to be scouse law that whenever you go outside Liverpool, you must always tell everyone that looks at you that it is the funniest place on earth full of the nicest people. i suspect this is a ploy to get more unsuspecting visitors for mugging. In reality, Liverpool is an absolute shithole, a city that seems to be held together using only grafitti, vomit and stacks of torn rubbish bags with the occasional used nappy thats been ran over in the middle of the road. NOTHING funny EVER came out of Liverpool, except that laughable excuse for music. Sonya, Cilla Black, and yes, you cretins, the Beatles are NOT MUSIC. And don't get me started on the accent. Scousers do not speak english. they actually speak some strange Klingon dialect from a place where everyone has chronic bronchitis. There are a few that sound like the Fat Controller from Thomas the tank engine, the kind of voice that just drones on and on and on and on until you slit your wrists. And what the fuck is the deal with the bloody Liver bird??? that ridiculous building in the middle of the Ghetto looks more like a bloody Green Chicken Mosque. i've never checked, but i bet every day at midday, they blast "You'll Never Work Again" out of the top of it and every scouser bends down and waves their arse at the rest of the country in rememberance of the fact that Liverpool truly is the sphincter of this planet, and any colonic irrigation should be sent their way as soon as possible. I fucking hate Liverpool and i hope that this little rant has somehow helped me to overcome the years of torture i had to go through constantly going there with my family. I hate it, i hate it, i fucking bloodywell shagging HATE IT!